Kate's Nuggets

Emergency Stress Relief Process
Episode 18

Podcast Opening over Theme Music:
Hello and welcome. This is Kate's Nuggets, the podcast where I share bite-size nuggets of wisdom about self-leadership. I am your host, Kate Arms. I invite you to listen lightly, let these ideas wash over you. Take what you take and let the rest go. You can always come back and listen again.

Kate Arms:
In this episode, I'm going to do something a little different. Many of my friends and clients have asked me recently for things they can do to calm anxiety when they only have a few minutes. So what I want to give you is a very quick process for calming your stress responses so that you can find your center and move forward in the middle of a stressful situation with the greatest ease and resourcefulness. This is a four-part process that is going to very quickly address your mental, physical, emotional and social needs. The value of doing all four in a single session of stress management is that they create a positive feedback cycle between themselves.

I am going to guide you through a two-minute version of the process. It will feel a little rushed the first time. Until you become familiar with the process, getting through it in two minutes will be difficult. But once you are familiar with the components, you will be able to do it in two minutes easily. Then after the two-minute version, I will talk you through what the components are so that you can extend each of the four parts to fill up a quarter of the time you have available. So, you can make this a 20-minute relaxation session or a six-minute session or a 40-minute session depending on how much time you have available.

Here is the two-minute version of this quick stress relief practice. For just a moment, pause. Notice what you hear around you, what you are seeing and what you can touch. Notice what you are touching that is supporting your weight. You might want to rock back and forth a little bit and find where you're best balanced and know that you are supported. Gently tap your skin all over your body. Feel your edges and where you are connected to the space around you.

If you can see the sky, look up and take in the expanse. Know that you are connected to everything that is. If you can't see the sky, use your imagination to connect to the cosmos through the floor beneath you and the building that's supporting it and the earth and then upwards. Know that you are connected to everything that is above and below you and to your sides.

Think of someone now who makes you smile. Enjoy that smile. As you enjoy the smile, let these questions drop into your awareness and see what answers, if any, bubble up. Know that the process of asking the question is as valuable as any answers you might get.

What matters most to you right now? What positive thing is why you are doing what it is you are doing? What are you curious about? What are you grateful for?

On your next breath, let your exhale be full, and feel the inhalation come in, breathing you. And shake yourself gently and move back into what is waiting for you. Now that you have experienced this stress relief process for yourself, I'm going to talk you through the four different elements so that you can extend it to fill whatever time you have available.

For the emotional portion of this, it is about bringing yourself aware of the present moment. Emotions exist as present experiences, so emotional stress relief is noticing what is going on right now. Becoming aware of what you see, what you hear and what you are touching will help you regulate any emotions that you are feeling inside your body that are overwhelming.

Then the physical piece. Wake up your body and bring your awareness and your physical presence to what's going on right now and to your balance and support in your body. And the way to do that is to give your body a little shake, starting with your hands or your feet, and let your shake go all through your body. Tap gently on your skin so you get awareness of where you are in space internally and externally.

Notice how you are connected to the ground. Are you standing? Then notice the connection between your feet and the ground. Feel your weight being supported by the ground. If you are seated, feel your butt in the chair and notice how the chair is supporting you. In either case, rock side to side and forward to back a little bit so that you can find your balanced place and feel the support of your body in balance.

The mental aspect is to focus on one of two things. Think about what motivates you. What matters to you? What is the positive impact you want to have in the world right now? The second thing is gratitude. What right now do you notice that you can savor, enjoy, name as good or be thankful for?

Finally, the social component of stress relief. We all feel stressed and under threat when we feel isolated, so finding our connection to others and to the rest of the world is a form of stress relief. If you've got someone in your mind, think of their physical being. Imagine their physical presence. If there's not someone specific on your mind right now, notice your connection to the wider universe.

If you can see the sky, look up and see that you are connected to all of that. If you cannot see the wider universe, use your imagination. Know that the electrons that are part of your skin are actually jumping back and forth between you and the air around you. You are connected to the universe on a very physiological level. You are a part of all that is, and so is everyone you know.

So, if you walk through those four things, in about two minutes, 30 seconds for the emotional, 30 seconds for the physical, 30 seconds for the mental and 30 seconds for the social, that will help you reset. If you've got a little longer, take a little longer. If you've got eight minutes, do two minutes of each. By doing a little bit of all four, you will create a feedback cycle that is stronger and more powerful in terms of reducing your stress than doing any one of them alone.

During this time when we are physically distanced from each other, the social piece can be the most difficult piece. We are not physically present with as many people. Some of us are not physically present with anyone, and yet we must maintain our sense of social connectedness and connectedness with a larger community.

Exclusion and isolation are hard for the human body to process. Being isolated for the safety of the people in our community doesn't feel physiologically different from having been ostracized from our community. And ostracization is a huge life threat and therefore creates an intense stress response.

Practices that connect us to the universe and the cosmos and the larger community are incredibly powerful at this time. Finding our connection to nature, to the sky, to the earth, smiling at our neighbors, these are powerful, powerful practices. I've used the visualization of connecting to the physical universe. This is a place where if you have a spiritual practice that includes a higher power, you could bring that in.

It is also a place where you could bring in a compassion practice where you imagine sending ease and loving kindness to the people that you know, the people that you miss, the people that you just used to pass in the street and don't see anymore, the people across all of the world who are also facing the isolation of the pandemic. This is an opportunity to think of yourself as connected to the human race. That will make up for some of the loss you feel in terms of being connected to the people you used to see down the pub.

You don't need to do the four parts of the process in the same order every time. What matters is that you do them all. Each of them serves to calm your nervous system in a particular way. Between them, they manage to approach most of the neurochemical systems in your body and calm them all down simultaneously. And this is what allows a deeper level of relaxation than the same amount of time spent on any one of the elements. Doing an integrated practice is more impactful than doing one at a time. If you would like a recording of a three-minute version, you can find one on my website, katearms.com/threeminutemeditation.

End Theme and Credits:
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To take this work deeper and learn how I can support you personally as your coach, email me at kate@signalfirecoaching.com to schedule a free consultation.
Here's to Thriving! Catch you next time.
Kate's Nuggets is a Signal Fire Coaching production. The music is adapted under license from Heroic Age by Kevin McLeod.